Dog training: I’m not perfect, and neither is my dog

I am not perfect.

I have no sense of style. I eat lots of Girl Scout cookies. I can never get up on time. I avoid people so I don’t have to think of things to say.

And my mutt Ace?

Not perfect either.

I think some people expect my dog to be perfect because I write about dog training. He’s not.

When we had our dog at our wedding, some of our friends seemed shocked that Ace acted like a dog.

He whined. Drooled on nice clothes. Got hair on my dress. Pulled on the leash and made gagging sounds.

I’m not sure what they were expecting. Lassie?

Dogs are dogs!

My favorite dogs at Westminster were the ones that grabbed treats off the floor and bounced up on two legs. They knew what was up.

And so, I’m here to share with you some of my dog’s flaws, and I hope you’ll share your own examples in the comments.

My imperfect dog Ace

My dog whines. A lot.

If you ride in our car, he might hyperventilate and cry and fling drool onto your clothes.

If I forget to put the toilet lid down, my dog will drink the entire bowl. Then throw up on the rug.

My dog walks in a circle while he shits, which means if he’s on a leash I’m left standing in a ring of poop.

My dog peed on my parents’ indoor plant. He tries to mark potted flowers and people’s trash cans. It drives me nuts.

One time, he took a dump right on the dog agility course.

When I’m on the phone, he licks his penis really, really loudly.

If he’s off leash, he will absolutely dive headfirst into the nearest source of open water.

Before people visit our apartment, I have to set aside time to wipe drool off our walls, refrigerator and doors. Sometimes the drool is above my head. Once, it was on the ceiling.

My dog pulls on the leash when he sees other dogs. He will not come when called if someone is holding a tennis ball. If we don’t include him in any type of game that involves any type of ball, he will whine and squeal like a drunken piglet.

These are the reasons my dog is not perfect. There are many other reasons, but this gives you an idea.

I do not try to train my dog to stop these behaviors. These are just the things he does.

These are the things you learn to put up with when the dog you love is Ace.

What makes your dog imperfect?